


Korean Jesus

by goldmuffin



Series: Drunken Truth [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 17:54:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16770022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldmuffin/pseuds/goldmuffin
Summary: This time, Junmyeon gets drunk





	Korean Jesus

“First time I ask someone out on a date, and I get stood up. What an amazing life!”

Yifan rolls his eyes but pulls Junmyeon closer to his side until the younger had his head on the older's shoulder. They were both seated on the floor, their backs leaning on the couch behind them. The brown coffee table in front of them was where Junmyeon's laptop sat, playing random Red Velvet music videos. Junmyeon raises a hand and pokes Yifan's side.

“You wouldn't know, huh? Because you have everyone throwing themselves to your feet.” Yifan did not have to turn his head towards his best friend to know that he is pouting and glaring at Yifan. Yifan shrugs and Junmyeon sighs in exasperation.

“Why? I'm no Shakespeare nerd—”

“— you're a Science nerd which is worse—”

“— not a hundred and eighty-seven feet of clumsy— ”

“—you're a midget in glasses who obsesses over a girl group—”

“— and certainly _not_ a best friend who makes his best friend feel ugly.” Junmyeon cuts him off with a rather harsh slap on the thigh to which Yifan winces. He rubs the abused skin.

“Look, Myeon, it's not my fault that my playing of Romeo gets all the ladies wet.”

“Can you not remind me? It's disturbing enough to hear Chaeyoung go on about your _perfect British accent topped with his deliciously deep, husky voice of god_ just, yuck.” Junmyeon shivers.

“So, you don't think of it that way?” Yifan asks, turning to face the other man.

“Think of what in what way?” Junmyeon doesn't move from his place and silently sings along to Russian Roulette.

“You don't think my voice is sexy?”

“Nope. Not even in the slightest.” He continues to sing, slightly dancing to the song, ignoring the heat flushing across his cheeks. Nope, not sexy at all.

He almost jumps out of his skin when he feels fingers softly lifting his chin.

“What, what are you doing?”

“Look at me, Junmyeon.” Yifan whispers and it leaves Junmyeon's body tingling all over. He swallows and boldly faces the other. His heart stutters as Yifan locks his eyes with his, intense. The fingers on his chin pull away, only to return, gently tracing over Junmyeon's flushed cheeks.

“What gentleman’s that which doth enrich the hand of yonder knight?” He whispers, and Junmyeon's breath hitches. Yifan runs the tip of his digits over the bridge of the other man's nose.

“O, he doth teach the torches to burn bright... It seems he hangs upon the cheek of night,” The younger unconsciously bites on his bottom lip, which he later deemed as a wrong (or maybe good?) move as Yifan's eyes dart down to the pink, plump flesh.  
Junmyeon thinks his heart might burst out of his chest as Yifan's thumb touches his bottom lip and softly tugs.

Wait, that's it! Because really, he did not understand a single shit that Yifan was babbling but his voice is doing dangerous things to Junmyeon and sparking thoughts he shouldn't be having.

“Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear... So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows as yonder gentleman—”

His heart could not simply break out from his chest, right? That would be impossible! It was only his ears that were playing tricks on him, making the heartbeat as though it was the only sound wave that existed and making it seem like it is strong enough to break open even the human skeletal—

Junmyeon's mind goes blank the moment that Yifan's thumb began rubbing sensually against his released bottom lip.

“...touching his, make blessed my... rude hand—”

Junmyeon mentally cheers (and curses) as the sudden slamming of the door open resonates across the room, causing Yifan to bolt away from the red-faced boy. They both see Kim Jongin and Lu Han enter with plastic grocery bags in their hands. Han, Yifan's fellow Drama major, puts the bags down and clears his throat.

“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night!”

Yifan never wanted to strangle someone so much in his life until now.

Jongin waves at his brother and smiles. “I brought us snacks and drinks, hyung! Getting stood up by the famous Lee Jieun is never easy to deal with!” He winks at him. Junmyeon's mood dampens a little at the mention of his crush's name.

Jongin walks up to him and turns off the older's laptop before placing the bags on the coffee table. Behind them, Han proceeds on his acts, his voice lowering to an octave as though he is playing another character.

“What dares the slave come hither, cover’d with an antic face, to fleer and scorn at our solemnity? Now, by the stock and honor of my kin— ow!”

Yifan, out of irritation, had grabbed Junmyeon's forgotten pen and threw it to Han's forehead, which was successful.

Twenty minutes and fifteen shots of tequila later, a tipsy Junmyeon stands on top of the couch with his arms spread, a white blanket tied around his neck with Jongin holding the tips behind and waving it.

“Bow down, peasants! 'Tis I, the Korean Jesus!”

“And me! The royal cape-waver! I'm also a bear!”

“Hush, bear. Only I can speak!”

“This should be fun.” Han laughs creepily, rubbing his hands together. Yifan smacks a hand on the back of the older's head, causing him to wince.

Yifan ignores him and instead keeps a close eye towards the Kim brothers. He sees Junmyeon looking around, as if looking for something, until his eyes finds Yifan. He smiles widely (Yifan had to take a breather, of course) and points at him.

“Bear! Take me to that Aphrodite over there! With haste!” Immediately, Jongin lets go of his “cape” and proceeds on prompting the older to jump and sit on his shoulders. He carries Junmyeon over to Yifan who stares in amusement.

Jongin carefully puts down his brother who straightens and dusts off his clothes before sweeping his hair to the side and gazes at Yifan with half-lidded eyes.

Yifan raises an eyebrow as the man takes a step closer and wraps his arms around Yifan's neck, pulling him down until their foreheads are touching. Yifan chuckles.

“BBI BBI! IU IS MY QUEEN!” Jongin yells in glee behind them as he turns on Junmyeon's laptop and plays IU's Bbibbi, all the while bows his head down as if praying.

Jongin sings in a rather high voice and Han dances along with him. As for Junmyeon, he begins swaying, causing Yifan to follow.

“According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.”

Yifan halts, straing blankly at Junmyeon.

“I'm sorry, what?”

Junmyeon laughs loudly and tucks his face on Yifan's neck. The taller blinks, confused.

He is suddenly very aware of the ticklish sensation on his neck.

“Myeon— _oh_.” He suddenly moans when he feels the younger suck on the sensitive spot under his ear.

“You know, you look a lot like my hot best friend. And although you're not him, I could really see myself periodically doing you on a table.”

_Hot best friend...?_

“YELLOW C A R D, OH YEAH IU IS MY QUEEN!”

Yifan feels as though someone had just dumped a bucket of ice cold water on him when he hears Junmyeon panting and feels him actually grinding on him.

As much as that felt amazing and he sure would want to bang Junmyeon (because of having a crush on him for years with only his right hand to accompany him does things), he did not want to take advantage of his best friend.

“Come on, Myeon. Let's get you home.”

“This is his home?” Han calls out, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows. That creep.

“My house. _You_ , Lu Han, take care of Nini and clean up this mess.”

“Oooh, your place? But if you were really Yifan, I'd totally take you anywhere! But you do look like him and you're hot so—”

“He needs mom.” Yifan nods at his own statement and hauls Junmyeon up until he is carrying him bridal style.

“Good bye, peasants! This Asian god is producing zygotes with Aphrodite!”

Yifan takes a deep breath and carries the drunk man out.

“That's it. No more alcohol for you.”

“Don't worry, honey! The size of the vector never matters, just the force of its delivery!”

Yifan curses under his breath.

Talk to me on twitter :(

[@krsh_goldmuffin](https//mobile.twitter.com/krsh_goldmuffinhttps)


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